So I’m at a work when a co-worker asks me, “For ten million dollars tax-free!” “Would you let another man sleep with your wife?” “Oh you have to watch the whole thing!”Honestly I thought about it and told her no. “No, you’re stupid, that’s ten million!!!” She then added. “For ten million I’d be giving my man hi fives and thumbs up the whole time I’m watching.” What my co-worker didn’t understand is just the thought of my wife with another man would disgust me to the point of no forgiveness. The walls of trust would erode and our communication would wither away and die. I asked my wife the same question a few days later. She gave me a look as to say, “Why would you even ask?” She then told me “No you’re my husband” “I couldn’t do that.”
It seems that maybe I missed it or it snuck up behind me. It’s a new day in the ways of cheating and who is cheating on who. I hear to many stories of females no longer caring if their man cheats as long as he is fiscally responsible and will keep the gifts and restaurant night out evenings coming. Some women I met say they don’t even mind being the other woman. I heard one girl say, “It’s better for me, that ain’t my man so when we done he has to leave.” The common downside to this new way of thinking is it leaves no room for love. Some of these same women will say I don’t want love. All men cheat any so what’s the point.
Even celebrities like Taylor Swift and Gwyneth Paltrow say cheating is not a deal breaker in a relationship. Taylor’s experience comes from her own many high-profile relationships with actors and singers as well. She also notes seeing her friends take back cheating men, because they feel that they belong together has set an example for her to follow. Some women want their spouses and husbands to have an affair…….I’m serious on this one. In an article in the Huffington Post several women admit that they wanted their husbands to cheat. These women weren’t abused or mistreated and mostly all says they have good nice guys at home. They just aren’t in love anymore. One woman used the scenario of her husband cheating to justify leaving her husband. Would you stay in a loveless marriage if your significant other was not the cause of your unhappiness? What if you had kids?
Well what makes a woman want to cheat on their man? Founder of Infidelityadvice.com may have the answer to that question and then some. They explain that the types of women who are more likely to cheat are ones with a lot of male friends, ones with girlfriends cheating on their spouses, an excessive need for attention, the materialistic type, if she’s a drug addict, if she views sex as a statement of her femininity. The list consists of eighteen types of women that have a higher chance of leaving their man/woman alone while they indulge themselves in other pleasures. Since women cheating is becoming more and more the norm. Fighting for the love and affection of your other half is quickly being replaced with satisfy that special “itch” for the moment.
Men cheat for some of the same reasons. Ego boosting, Peer pressure from friends and co-workers, the inability to say no, his way of ending the relationship, he may view an extra marital affair as a status symbol that comes with package of being successful in his career, he figures y’all never find out. There’s more, but I’ll let you find them all out. With so many reasons to cheat what would be the reasons for a person scathed by love to keep trying? Another question do you think if your spouse watches porn it is a form of cheating? That question came up to at work.
In this age of woman thinking like men it’s no wonder Steve Harvey took notice. He wrote a book to inspire women to take control of their relationships, also to empower over themselves and raise the bar while envisaging the prerequisites for a spouse to partner with them. Another article in Time magazine a few years back features Giuliana DePandi and her book “Think like a Guy:How to get a Guy by Thinking like One. In the article she emphasizes not telling a potential man all of your dirty laundry. Any child abuse stories, or drug abuse or things like that should remain in the background until you feel comfortable enough to share and have been with him over a few months. I agree with her statement. I dated a girl once who told me how she was molested at an early age and how she did drugs. Keep in mind this was the FIRST time I talk to her on the phone. Honestly is scared me away. She needed a therapist and I wasn’t willing to be her shoulder to cry on. Plus it was a lot to put on a person who you barely know. I’m not proud of it, but I know I couldn’t handle it.
All this talk about sex and cheating and not one mention of any science behind it. Is there a scientific explanation of why we cheat? Vasopressin is a hormone primarily used for pair-bonding. The hormone causes a trigger in the brain that happens when a species finds their mate. The gene RS3 334 or commonly known as the cheating gene comes in three varieties in humans; people can have 0,1 or 2 pairs. The more pairs they have the less vasopressin and more likely to have poor quality relationships. Last one method maybe years away, but genetic sequencing could be the key element in telling you if your mate has abiogenetic propensity to cheating.
Would you be more upset if your spouse cheated on you with someone from another race? Would you be upset if someone cheated on your with someone from the same gender? or for those of you who are homosexual would you be upset if your mate cheated on you with someone from the opposite sex? I know affairs of the heart can make people guard your most precious asset….yourself. It seems what is becoming the norm now is hugging your spouse while instgramming a fling for a late night that ends up with heavy breathing, clothes scattered in a hotel room and empty condom wrappers. And NO!!!!! it’s always the men who initiate this equidistant lifestyle. Women are as much to blame more than ever. One thing I try to live by in my relationship is: Are you prepared to lose this person if you were to cheat? How will you explain yourself to you kids about the affair? What type of person do you want to be remembered for? and last Not having an example of a happy marriage growing up, what would you do to create what you see as an example of a happy healthy relationship?