One thing bout having your own blog is being able to talk about whatever topics you want and not having to be talked down to get viewers and followers. With that being said this week’s blog will be about a topic probably dear to some of you and some of you may not get it. Years ago while I was on vacation with my girlfriend at the time I mentioned that I can tell how a woman’s behind will be shaped. Whether it’s flat, or onion shaped or big and sloppy. I found a way just by looking at a woman while they are walking towards me to tell what shape their behind is. My accuracy is in the high 90% range and I’m gonna use my blog to explain my reasoning.
First let me break down the types of asses and what their differences are. Here is a list according to The Urban Journal there are five main types of booty: Onion Booty a.k.a “The Apple Bottom” – The Onion booty starts right where the lower back ends. The onion is more about roundness than it is about size. The ass immediately jumps off the arch of the lower back and begins to round. It rounds in a perfect arc until it gets to the midpoint, called the Ass Apex, where it starts to curve back into the thighs. When studying an Onion Booty, notice that there’s no difficulty in deciphering where the ass ends and the thighs begin. The reason for that is because the Onion Booty defies gravity by lifting itself away from the upper thigh. This is another characteristic unique to the Onion Booty. The extreme roundness of the Onion Booty causes the depth of the ass crack to resemble that of a canyon or valley. You can see while she is walking, left cheek down, right cheek up, right cheek up, left cheek down. A 100% Onion Booty is the rarest of all asses and the hardest to keep in proper shape. An Onion Booty can easily become a Ghetto Booty or Disaster Butt with weight gain. A lot of women pay for Onion Booties and end up with a Ghetto Booty instead. The Onion Booty cannot be obtained by surgery, only by nature.
The Tear Dropper a.k.a. Cuff– The tear drop can either be good or bad, but its the slope of the behind that makes the difference. The tear drop has no roundness at the top and the bottom part has the thickness or the meat of the behind. That ass is full from the Ass Apex (Midpoint where booty reaches it’s roundness climax before curving into lower half of ass) down, and also thick towards the bottom as well. The behind doesn’t jump off the top of the lower back like the Onion Booty does. Notice that instead of going straight into the thigh, that ass separates very nicely from the thigh. It lifts away and upward from the thigh. This is a high quality Tear Dropper, and should be given the respect it deserves.The less appealing Tear Droppers are the ones that fail to have enough thickness at and below the Ass Apex. Now the thing about the smaller Tear Droppers is that you must stay in shape. If you don’t keep your body tight, it’s going to look disgusting when the least amount of ass you have is sagging and all wrinkled and shriveled. Kind of like a Raisin.
The Ghetto Booty a.k.a. –Gooottttddaaayuuumm– According to the article the Ghetto and Onion booty are often confused. One major difference is, unlike the Onion, the ghetto booty has a slope at the summit of the ass that comes from the density and weight of the ass. There’s no separation like the Onion Booties at the top of the page, or even like some of the Tear Droppers. This is OK though. Having ass at the top really helps the rounding shape, and Ghetto Booties have the highest Ass Apexes on the planet. If the Ghetto booty gains weight it won’t be thick anymore, it‘ll be fat. A Ghetto Booty is an ass that’s not only thick, but it also sits under a nice waist and above proportionally thick thighs.
The Disappointer a.k.a. Lower Lower Back – Disappointers have a slope that continues all the way down the back to the upper thigh. Disappointers have absolutely no roundness to them whatsoever. The Ass Apex doesn’t exist, and there’s little to no separation between the ass and upper thigh because there isn’t much ass there to begin with. The misconception is that Disappointers are all small. This is entirely untrue. Disappointers come in all widths and lengths, they just lack any respectable depth. The booty cheeks are so thin that the asshole basically dangles with nothing to attach to. Even though the depth is absent you can find Disappointers with incredible width. That ass be wide but it don’t have not weight on it.
The Disaster Booty a.k.a. Ewwwww– Ass Implants can be the cause of Disaster Butt. A lot of women have hopes of obtaining a nice Ghetto Booty or maybe a Tear Dropper, but become a Disaster Butt Victim (DMV.) Disaster Butt is extremely unattractive, and it looks terrible no matter what angle you’re looking at it from. Its shape is not aesthetically pleasing at all, which is why it has earned it the nickname “The Asymmetrical Shitter.” The top of Disaster Butt is unlike any other ass out there. It’s lumpy, cottage cheese and a lot of the time you can’t even tell where the back ends and the ass begins. (See picture to the left.) These are often covered with muffin top. The sides of Disaster Butt can be shaped any given way throughout the day. It’s been called “Play-Ass-Doe” and “Gumby Drawls” for it’s shape shifting ability. The side profile shows that there is no symmetrical roundness at all. Even after the Ass Apex. Actually the Ass Apex can be difficult to find on Disaster Butt, because just like with any other type of disaster, everything pretty much is evacuated.
Now that you know the different types of booty we are that much closer to the secret of how to tell if a woman has a onion or a disaster. A study from the University of Buenos Aires found out that 59% of men preferred women with big butts versus women with big boobs. Men were asked on a visual scale on what they thought was attractive in women. Another experiment used men’s eye movement and tracked them with a eye tracker. The tracker would find out where your eyes would be fixated the most. Why are we concerned with such research (other than the fun it probably brought to the researchers)? Evolutionary psychologists have been long-interested in male preferences for female traits, because those traits are thought to indicate a woman’s fertility.2 Whereas most studies focus on what makes specific body traits attractive, such as the waist-to-hip ratio, body mass index,3 or breast shape and size,4,5 little research has looked at individual preferences for specific traits. Although there is a lot of discussion about the “ultimate debate” of breasts versus butts, quantifiable research is limited. Perhaps quantifiable attractiveness ratings of female curves could be linked to male relationship and sexual behavior in future studies. Or, the preference for butts vs. breasts could be evaluated for changes over time or be used to look at differences in preference between cultures.
Confidence – To me this is an attributes of the female human body that says a lot. Unconsciously you can learn how a female’s day is going, what mood they’re in, if they are comfortable with their bodies. Women who are more confident tend to want to show the world their bodies. It doesn’t have to mean they’re being slutty or hoeish, it can just be there rejoicing in themselves the confidence they found or gained back. “Body language conveys the true emotion of how you feel,” Hoppe says. “And a lot of these movements are unconscious. We’re absolutely unaware that we’re doing it. We’re unaware that we’re walking a little slower than normal, we’re unaware that our shoulder are slumped…” –Huffington Post. – If you see a woman standing up straight with a confident stride , her walk often times gains the attention of her male counterparts. Since men are visual creatures a walk and how you walk is the first thing you see. When I want to see if a woman has a nice behind the first thing I notice is the walk. Does she take, long or short strides? Does she look comfortable in her own skin? is her skin and face glowing, science has shown confidence and a smile is like a afrodisiac to men. Ladies try to take slower paced longer strides to make themselves look more confident and walk lifting up instead of putting the weight all on your waist. If you typically have pain in your hips this could be an issue with your walk.
Jiggle Factor -Another important part of telling if a woman has a big behind if their walking towards you is if you can see the amount of jiggle in their walk. That’s why the walk is important, the “Jiggle Factor” depends on the lean-to fat ratio in a woman’s body. While the medical world wants woman at a low lean to fat ratio, (between 10% – 32%) to me this amount is for stick figure women or living mannequins. I don’t like mannequins, contrary to popular belief if you exercise and eat healthy you can keep a full figure curvaceous body live a able-bodied lifestyle and be sensual and sexy. The ratio I look for is from 32% to 40% lean-to fat ratio. Within this parameter you have a nice amount of body fat. Any more than that then women tend to look overweight, I feel all women are beautiful and me being honest I like my women thick, but not overweight. The way I like to describe the jiggle factor is it’s just like sonar. Much like how bats make sound and the sound waves bounce back from a object, the bat can tell the location of the obstacle and mass of the object (echolation). Seeing the jiggle wave when a woman walks travel from the calf to the upper thigh can help assess the thickness of the leg muscle and density as well. I tend to see if the woman is skinny the wave is a short spurt and travels fast up the legs. On thicker women the wave resembles more of a flowing ocean current. Sometimes if the stride in their walk has enough force and what the woman is wearing is thinner that a cotton material (silk, nylon) you can see the jiggle through the material. This is a good indicator that the woman will have a strong round behind. Also the front part of the leg where the muscle is should show the form and shape with mid level jiggle
Body Type– One measure that can be used is a woman’s body type and the ratio of body fat in the waist, hips, thighs and legs. One thing I will note is if I see a woman’s waist from the front, I also look for good symmetry between the waist and hip area with good proportion to the upper thigh. If you were to take a marker and draw a straight line up from a woman’s knee to her waist. What you want to see is outside the line is a flat plain forming into a small raised hill. Think of what an obtuse angle looks like. Dr. David Holmes of the University of Manchester a psychologist found that 72% of men prefer curvacious women over skinny women. Even 61% of women when asked as well prefer curves over skinny women. Holmes proposed a set a measurements that he feels with attestation trigger the male hormonal system because they represent the healthiest and most fertile form. In his claims, he says the ideal breast size is DD or E especially if it combined with a hip, waist and thigh height ratio. “The human curve has come to represent the healthiest and most fertile form, highlighting the most suitable breeding partner and has evolved to be universally attractive to males for that reason.” -Holmes
Disclaimer-While these views and attitudes do no reflect my own. I felt it was useful to show some if any scientific basis on the relationship between body symmetry and attraction.
Thigh ratio (thigh measurement divided by height)– (0.28-0.3=5), (0.27 to 0.31=4), (0.32 to 0.35=3), (0.36 to 0.38=2), other =1.
Hip-Waist Ratio(circumference of your waist divided by hips)– (0.75=5), (0.65 or 0.75=4), (0.32 to 0.35=3), (0.36 to 0.38=2), (other=1)
Body Curve Line Smooth unbroken curves=5, Trunk bust and thighs curve into each other =4, Waist/Hips or bust/waist lack concave curves=3, Waist/Hips and Bust/Waist lack any concave curves=2, Straight lines and Bulges=1
Body Symmetry- Symmetrical=5, Some Facial distinctions=4, Minor Body and Face distinctions=3, Notable Distinctions=2, Very Individual character and appearance=1
Clothes- One thing that cannot be overlooked is how clothing can accentuate a woman’s natural curves. Ladies keeps these tips in mind when looking to attract a potential partner. One thing you should always keep in mind is what your body type is and then dress to compliment your particular body. For pear-shaped women to accentuate those curves you should wear loose-fitting and flowing jeans to cover your thighs. Use tops that are long or short but won’t cover your hip area. Emphasize your slender neck by picking out cowl necks or square neck lines. Pick out skirts with a straight cut – none of the balloon types. This gives the illusion that you have a smaller waist with shapely hips. Diamond shaped bodies usually have a shorter stature slim shoulders, small breasts and slender hips and thighs. Wearing bulky will emphasis your bottom and make you look shorter. Wear loose fitted clothes that are loose enough at the hips. Choose funky tops with puffed sleeves, low necklines and pocket to divert their attention to your upper body area.
Round body types are usually big in the bust, chest, back with slender hips and legs. The best feature for this body type is your legs so focus on them. Also wear V-necklines to show off a narrower neckline. A pencil cut skirt would be nice to cover your waist and show off those legs.For women with straight shapes, their main problem is the proportioned upper and lower body build, average breasts, flat bottom and slim legs. A long jacket can help make your torso look longer. Low necklines such as V-neck tops can accentuate your neck. Straight skirts will help accentuate your legs.
Women with inverted triangle shapes usually have problems in the upper torso area. They usually have a medium chest area, narrow hips with slender long legs. Your biggest assets are your hips and long legs. Wearing flared pants or wide skirts to help even out your shoulders. Low Waist skirts will help show off those hips and accessorizing can also help as well.
Now, I’ve talked a lot how to tell if a woman has a nice butt or not just simply by walking towards me and using the stride in the walk, the jiggle factor, confidence and clothes to tell what they might look like from the back. One thing I should mention to ladies out there who are full-figured I found a fitness professional by the name of Anowa Adjah a.k.a “The Nigerian Powerhouse”. She also calls herself the “First Full Figured Fitness Phenomenon” and once you see her testimonials from her clients ya’ll understand why she makes them feel beautiful on the inside and out. Anowa being a full-figured woman herself knows what the impossible task of trying to fit into cookie cutter skinny molded perception that women are told they have to be. Anowa offers a range of different classes and services from a “full body curve down” workout program, personal training, nutrition counseling, Pre-Natal/Post Pregnancy Workouts, motivational speaking and workouts tailored for teenagers and young children. Oh Yeah us men too are not left out. With a motto like “Lose the weight, not the curves” and DVD’s and Products you can purchase online I’m sure this is just a matter of time before this blows up.
In conclusion, those ocular receptors we call eyes can process, quantify and abstract information within milliseconds. You can flash an image of a man dressed, wearing khakis, a blue dress shirt and glasses and faster than lightning can strike and we can still distinctively tell what we saw when the image of the dressed man next to another dressed man wearing a different outfit. I bring that up to give you an idea of how fast a man can tell the distinguishable curves on a woman. So in the few seconds it takes to see a beautiful walking I can see the confidence in the walk and see that the person is not slouching or speeding walking. The stride naturally gliding along in a straight line shows the leg muscle indentations and definition. The wave that pulsates upward from the hard surface. While the wave is going up it also shows if and curvatures on the side of the hips. This is what you’re looking for when measuring the shape of a behind.
Usually if the walk has a lot of bounce to it, they have a “Ghetto Booty”. If the walk stride ends with the lower buttocks muscle/fat being pushed up and out while the upper buttocks has little to no movement, then more likely they have a Tear Drop Booty. The Onion Booty is firm from being fit and healthy. Since the cheeks have equally distribution in all four quadrants upper/left, lower/left, upper/right and lower/right and equal roundness the stride in the walk will show this. As you would guess the disaster booties and the other figures that have no behind shows when they walk. There is no side hip extension motion. The area that pertrudes out to show the “Obtuse Hil” I mentioned before will not be there. So now that you know my secrets go out there and test my theory out and let me know your accuracy. Ohhh try not to stare too hard or too long……it’ll make you look creepy